Football: Some musings.

I really, really don't understand our national fascination with football. Sure, people need to have hobbies, things that interest and them, and I'd never proclaim something to be unworthy or devoid of any entertainment based purely on the fact that I don't like it, but football... I just don't get it. And that's not just because it's something that I, personally, don't enjoy.

Grown men who don't shed tears at funerals are transformed into a sobbing mass of mucus and pain when their team get knocked out of some competition and therefore remove themselves from the possibility of winning some wholly unimportant shiny silver trophy. Like druids involved in some sort of collective hypnotism, a shared religious experience, crowds recount chants - word perfect - and take part in very precise rituals. They dress in appropriate robes (£44.99 from JJB Sports for the basic replica shirt) and chips and beer are their bread and wine as they seek absolution from their everyday lives. Genuine anger and hatred can be conjured for rivals and referees who give decisions the 'wrong' way, and players can be vilified, held up for their heroics or even both in the course of a ninety minute ceremony, all to the backdrop of subconscious cliche conditioning by 'pundits' and 'commentators'; those we look to, those who's expertise we can buy into, reshape and pass off as our own:

It's a game of two halves
There's no love lost between those two
He's in acres of space
That's a beautiful pass
They desperately need those points

People - many of whom are totally blue-collar - are prepared to fork out extortionate amounts of money every year, to trundle down to a glorified school field once a week in order to get depressed. I think of the season ticket fee as a optional misery tax that some people choose to pay. It's like £500, £600 pr year, quite often paid by those who can't afford it. And that's not all. Being a football fan is an expensive occupation... price hikes on replica shirts, £4.00 for a pint of watered down lager in the stadium and the cost of travelling around Europe cheering on your team in international competitions (until they're inevitable knocked out by some Spanish team who are just, well, better.)

It's no wonder people are in such debt.

I think it's wholly irresponsible of football clubs to exploit their fans, the majority of whom are made up from the working classes and therefore from lower-income backgrounds (sorry about that hideously stereotyped generalisation, there... feel free to correct me if you know otherwise.) I don't know what causes this national obsession, this indoctrination into the way of the soccerball, and neither do the fat men in suits fill the boardrooms of these stadiums who are all buying a new Mercedes a week from money that would be better spend in trust funds for the average fan's kids. All they do know is, it's there. This need to follow a team, the comradery, the spirit, whatever. And like all opportunists they feed on it and they exploit it, squeezing every last penny out of those who cannot really afford it. It's like Robin Hood in reverse.

And where does the money go? Football clubs are multi-billion pound businesses now. Many could argue (probably correctly) that if we didn't feed all of this money into them, the economy would suffer. Gone are the days of friends kicking a ball around in the park, falling over in muddy puddles, scraping knees and getting home in time for tea. Grass roots morph into designer suits as fans' money is used to pay greedy, spoilt brats ridiculous amounts of money (I think some 'top players' - awful phrase - in the UK are on £200 000 per week) just because they can push a ball into a net with their foot. Wow. Big skill. Silly, little boys as young as sixteen suddenly have more money than you or I could ever even comprehend having access to, and whilst fans struggle to feed their families and make sacrifices on luxury items during this period of economic recession, they crash a Ferrari a week and fall our of VIP nightclubs, wasted off their face. You hear about Joey Barton beating the crap out of some guy in Liverpool who was just minding his own business, but no real action is taken because he's got money. Lee Bowyer and Jonathon Woodgate were 'allegedly' involved in a racially motivated attack, but nothing happened because they've got money. You hear about 'roasting' scandals and gang rape, but it's all brushed under the carpet with a boys will be boys mentality.

Because they've got money.
Too much money.

Personally, I'd cap the wage of everyone involved in football in any capacity to £30 000 per annum and give all of the other revenue that this obsession generates to public services, especially the NHS. How can we, as a society, justify having nurses on, like £15 000 per year, when almost every professional footballer in this country earns more in one week than the majority of us could dream about earning in our entire lives. People who are integral to society, rather than little boys who are, really, just entertainers. They should be the ones who feel disposable, not the people who are saving our lives every day.

Just thinking about the inequality makes me so angry. Professional sports stars (and other vacuous 'celebrities') earn FAR TOO MUCH MONEY. I know we're all capitalists here in the Western world n'all, but what kind of message is this sending out to kids? Nah, little Billy, don't bother training to be a paramedic. You'll make much more money kicking a ball around for ten years, or - if you're not bright enough - wait 'til you're sixteen and shag that girl who got her boobs out on Big Brother. The fee the Daily Star'll pay you will set you up for life. (And you can afford to go private for your Chlamydia treatment... provided, of course, any one bothers to study medicine any more.............)

That's why they get themselves in so much trouble; they can't handle the responsibility; splash out, engage in complete financial excess... and this quite often has detrimental consequences. This never used to happen fifty years ago, when football was played by normal men on normal wages, who just wanted to enjoy themselves. People don't become footballers now because they genuinely care about the sport, or because they genuinely care about the fans. Sure, they sign for a new team and get pushed in front of a dozen flashbulbs and utter a few words about a 'great club' with 'an amazing atmosphere', but all they care about is buying into the cult of celebrity. And really, who's fault is that? It's a sad fact about the society we live in that anyone can make enough money if they're desperate enough. So who am I to judge a teenager who is offered a multi-million pound contract purely because he can kick a ball in a straight line? Why shouldn't he make money from calendar sales and shirts with his name on and magazine shoots where he models clothes for some ridiculously overpriced label that he'd probably never wear himself in real life, but all his impressionable young fans will go out and buy in a bid to emulate their heroes 'look'? What does it matter?

Because, like parasites, they're leeching off their fans - the people who really pay their wages - without giving a crap about giving anything back. It's a complete lack of gratitude.

And that's the definition of disrespect.

You could argue that if there people are stupid enough to feed all of their disposable income and then some into following football, then they can't complain. No one's forcing them to, so what does it matter? Thing is, the majority aren't bright enough to make the distinction between enjoyment and exploitation. It's irresponsible to encourage those who don't realise that they can't afford it, and that's precisely what the clubs are doing.