On a serious note, my disdain for the lower strata of seventeenth century British emigration is - generally - light hearted. On the whole, I see America for what it is: a caricature. But sometimes, the place genuinely scares me. As the dominant superpower (rapidly losing ground to China one multi-national corporation at a time - see ya, Lehmann Brothers!), economically, politically and socially, whatever happens in America affects all of us. And when I look at the average American, I really do panic that my future is essentially in their hands.
Which brings me to the 2008 presidential campaign. In the red corner (not that there's any such thing in the US!!!!) we have Barack Obama, the democratic candidate and - if American didn't allow the deep south to vote - possibly the United States' first ever black president. In the blue corner, straight outta Vietnam, we have John McCain. The trigger happy, pro-life Republican who was, until recently, eight points behind Obama.
Eight points behind, at least, until he hired self-confessed 'pitbull with lipstick' Sarah Palin as his 'Running Mate' (c'mon, even if you're pro-America, some of this terminology is ridiculous...). Since it was announced that Palin would be campaigning alongside McCain with a view to taking up office as his vice president should he win, the Republican party has not only caught up with the Democrats, but McCain has managed to accrue a four point lead over Obama. Now, I'm not politician, but I think such a massive surge in popularity following the appointment of this All-American 'Hockey Mom' as the potential 44th president's number two must be attributed to her in some way. Credit where credit's due.
So while Obama resorts to trading thinly veiled insults (three days after Palin's pitbull metaphor, Ol' Barack gave a speech - allegedly about the Republican manifesto - using the ill-advised metaphor "you can put lipstick on a pig... but it's still a pig." Funny, yes. Stupid, yes. Women all across America were outraged! Nonpartisans suddenly started shifting right! He's obviously a sexist, we can't possibly vote for him. And that's the story of how Sarah is winning the day.
But let's take a closer look at this woman. We all know John McCain's dangerous; bomb Iran for no reason? Sure. But what about her? Maybe she'll be good for him, a calming influence who'll stop him bringing about the end of the world quite so quickly. Maybe Miss American Pie can avert nuclear Armageddon at the hands of someone straight out of 'Nam.
Nah.
She supports drilling for oil in her home state of Alaska, rather than looking to develop renewable energy resources. Short-term, I guess this could be marketed to the less intelligent voters as a good idea; self-sufficient fuel supplies would end the reliance on the Middle East. Never mind the rest of the world: America's going to be okay. Well... for the next fifty years or so. What happens when the oil runs out, Mrs. Palin? Ah, well, cross that bridge when we come to it. Never mind the devastating environmental impact of a country the size of the USA showing no sort of global responsibility for its Carbon emissions (highest in the world). Fuck the environment. Never mind that we're raping Alaska's natural beauty with power stations and giant iron pipes that stretch right on out over the horizon. Oh, that doesn't matter. That's what the Americans do. They've taken the breathtakingly outstanding landscape of their continent and turned into one great big fucking shopping centre.
When quizzed about the environmental impact of her plans to drill holes all over Alaska and burn the contents of them all over the North American continent, Palin showed neither concern nor any real knowledge for the poor polar bears:
"These magnificent, cuddly white bears are doing just fine* and they don't need out protection.** If the ices melts, they'll adapt to living on the land."***
*No. No, they aren't.
** Yes. Yes, they do.
***If the ice melts, Sarah, they'll become extinct. That's what happens when greedy, stupid humans destroy animals' natural habitats.
Okay. So she's an idiot. But give an idiot power, and then things get dangerous. Look at Bush. It's really trendy to lay into Bush without really knowing anything about the politics or reasoning behind many of his decisions. It's funny to reel off his mis-quotes because bands like NOFX wear 'Not my President' tees. Yeah, I'm totally political, I bought Rock against Bush vol. 1. That said, the man is - quite clearly - an idiot. It absolutely stupefies me that he was voted in not once, but twice (which reinforces my earlier point about how I panic that decisions that affect my lives are left in the hands of the general American public; a public who, quite clearly, are happy to re-elect the man who, when asked by a British child what the White House was like, replied "It is white") As I said, I try to make a point of not complaining too loudly against Bush unless it's relevant to the point I'm making, as I don't want to be lumped in with all the fifteen-year-olds who really wanted John Kerry to win in 2004 just, uh, well, 'cos Green Day said so!
Yes. Stupid people + power = dangerous. Look at the monumental disaster that is Iraq. My personal stance on the US invasion of Iraq (another example of the UK aligning themselves to America without the British public being consulted. Cheers.) is that it should never have happened in the first place, but now that they're there, they had fucking better stay and sort their mess out. Think of them as being grounded until they tidy their room. Iraq is a shambles and an embarrassment and an example of the rich exploiting the poor for thinly veiled reasoning. It's not what this blog is about, but it's an example of why I really worry about the next US government.
So, Palin, yes. Well, as well as thinking polar bears are invincible (why not just send 'em to the Sahara, Sarah... I'm sure they'll "adapt"), this handy, little bite-sized article from Time magazine should tell you all you need to know about McCain's 'Running Mate'. They say that behind every great man is an even greater woman, well, apparently behind every potentially dangerous, neo-conservative, hyper-right presidential candidate is an even more ridiculous running mate. A member of the National Rifle Association, Palin believes all Americans have 'the right to bear arms', which is the most ridiculous law I have ever heard in my life. What's more dangerous than giving stupid people power? Giving them guns! Recently, I was reading an article on hurricane Ike, and there was a Texan family refusing to evacuate their home. They were pictured sitting on their porch armed with rifles, apparently they were going to blast the storm away with guns? I'm not even kidding.... Far too often, stories of school shootings and random gun murders ricochet across the Atlantic and hit headlines with the impact of a rogue bullet. I don;t understand how a supposedly developed country can think it's okay for citizens to be roaming the streets exercising their 'constitutional right' to blow each other to bits.
But, as Georges Clemanceau said, "America is the only country on earth to go from barbarism to decadence without civilisation in between"
(If you don't agree with me, have a look at how New Orleans is doing, two years after Katrina. Then tell me how any American, or indeed anyone in the world with a concept of human suffering, can sleep at night.)
In the wake of the recent incident at Virginia Tech, I think it's wholly irresponsible as an American politician to do anything but condemn gun use. But no. Never mind that it's dangerous, stopping Septics packing heat would be wildly unpopular and you've gotta think of the opinion polls (I mean, who cares if a few university students get shot along the way... really?) But it's okay. Palin clearly knows the fear of losing a child. Her son's, like, totally gone to Iraq. I'm not trying to detract from how scary that must be for him, but how come everyone's applauding her for this? There are parents all over the world whose children are serving in war zones and they get no special credit, no praise is heaped on them. They just get on with their daily lives without making the everyday heroism of their child a fucking publicity stunt.
And let's not forget that the potentially second most powerful person in the world has brains rival to go with her strong moral conscience (or severe lack thereof.) Not content with thinking that we could send Arctic animals holidaying to the equator, she's also a Creationist. Which is nice. Of course God created the world in 7 days. Sure. Never mind all of the scientific evidence backing up evolution, or anything. No, no, God is sitting up on his white cloud right now, kicking back in his toga and thinking "Wow. What a brilliant job I've done. We've come so far since the Eden-prototype." She supports the teaching of creationism in schools, which is not only scientifically unsound, but downright dangerous. Religious extremism is rife in the USA, and I am not talking about Islam. There are 50 000 000 Americans in the Bible Belt who'll all be voting for McCain in the hope he hurries up and bombs Gaza, just to bring about the end of the world that little bit quicker. They believe we're in the End Times. They believe the Rapture is coming and God will save them all, whisk them off the Heaven and go fire and brimstone on the Atheists' collective arse (and Jews, and Muslims, and Sikhs, Hindus, Pagans and Fundamentalist Badger Worshippers.) Separation of church and state is so important; indoctrination should not occur as part of any school curriculum. Religion is something someone should be able to make an informed decision about; not something to be taught as an absolute truth in a classroom. From a country near the forefront of scientific progress, this is an astounding attitude.
And so we come to my last problem with Mrs. Palin (excluding the fact that she was clearly on acid when she named her kids): she is vehemently anti-abortion. Now, I'm pro-choice, however I understand that abortion is a very sensitive issue and one that commands widespread debate and opinions and is capable of stirring up the strongest of emotions. Whatever your stance on the procedure is, however, I don;t think that anyone has the right to judge a girl or a woman who decides that having a baby is not the right move for her. Having never been in a situation where I'd need to consider an abortion (thank goodness), I can only imagine how difficult a decision it must be to undergo the procedure. It's clearly an extremely difficult time physically and emotionally, and I think that anyone who even attempts to manipulate guilt from those who choose to terminate pregnancies should be utterly ashamed of themselves. I have no problem with the pro-life standpoint, no problem with debate and discussion of the two polar viewpoints, however to exploit the fragile emotional state of a girl considering or post-abortion is entirely different to expressing a pro-life viewpoint.
Palin is quoted as referring to the termination procedure as "the atrocity of abortion." Atrocity. A word frequently used to describe the 9/11 terrorist attacks and other events of a similar magnitude. That's hardly comparable to a girl who's made a conscious choice to terminate a baby that she can't afford to provide any sort of life for, is it? The use of such emotive rhetoric is absolutely reprehensible; despite Palin's personal viewpoint, she should understand that abortions are a bonafide medical procedure and provide solutions - albeit difficult ones - to unwanted pregnancies. I think that when running for a position of power, one should be able to keep one's personal opinions private and focus on the issues that matter. Whether or not female Americans have terminations is not a pressing economic, social or political issue and therefore I fail to see how it is relevant to the presidential race. Palin is just as entitled to oppose abortion as I am to support it, but the difference between her and myself is that I would never, ever attempt to exploit guilt or shame form someone to recruit them to my point of view.
So to summarise, McCain is dangerous, and his 'running mate' and potential US vice-president Palin is quite clearly no better. Her views on abortion, creationism, climate change and the constitutional right to bear arms show that she is out of touch with global* social, political and ecological concerns. Her children are named Piper, Willow, Bristol, Track and Trig. How, then, can she be expected to run the most powerful country in the world?
*Well, Western social, political and ecological concerns. I doubt there's many Saudi Arabians who support abortion, and China's not exactly hot on climate change, but I'm talking the the context of Westernization.
Politically, I'm pro-Europe. Britain has in recent years had a history of aligning itself politically and economically to the US and I think, personally, these moves should be towards the EU. If our economy wasn't so inexplicably intertwined with the US markets, we wouldn't all be feeling such fallout from the subprime crisis just because the Septics are incapable of taking out a mortgage properly or even running their own banks (I'm kidding!) I'm not saying I want us to go to war with the US or anything, like, we should always be total BFFs and... things (again, irony!) but I think that the UK gets swept up in a lot of decisions made by the American public without really getting their own say. That said, the actions of whoever wins the race to be the 44th president of the USA has inevitable implications for all six billion citizens living on planet earth, which is why I hope to God that America makes the right choice.
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